the valley of the shadow of death

This has been a strange year so far.  In another blog I may explain why, but I have a great expectation of a breakthrough this year, beginning this summer.  But the lead-up so far has been anything but, which I trust is only proving the saying that the darkness is the greatest before the dawn.  Both my wife and I have been struggling with discouragement and spiritual fatigue.  One can only hang in there so long.  I don't like to blog when I'm in a spiritual "down" time (which is why you haven't seen any blogs for a while).  But I've decided that, 1. it's not honest to only blog on the "good" days, and, 2. I would like to have some record of the hard times so I don't forget what I've come through.  I don't want to ever take for granted the goodness and grace of God when it becomes more clearly manifested.

Too many words can clutter the mind so I will try and keep this and future blogs brief and to the point.  Here are two short poems that came to me recently.

                              I thought I saw the light of dawn - 

                                 But it was only the light of man's creation.

                              A light rain was falling

                                  And I didn't even know it.

                              I long for the downpour -

                                  A clear sign of cleansing,

                                      of a change so desperately needed.

                              Instead, a light rain falls;

                                  Tears from heaven

                                      mingling with mine.

                              "In all their affliction He was afflicted."  (Isaiah 63:9) 

The other day I ran across a journal I had started to keep  way back in 1996.  In the March 22 entry I felt I had received the following as a comforting word from God, in response to my honest admission that I felt like I was still walking in so much darkness, but was desperately wanting more of His light.

  "It is better to walk in the reality of the darkness than to walk in an illusion of light."

Wow!  That word spoke to me just as powerfully in my present circumstances as it did way back then.  In my next blog I will explain why this word means so much to me.