divine child abuse

I ran across this phrase, "divine child abuse", in a forward to a biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  His emphasis on "costly grace" was frowned upon by those who could not wrap their minds around the idea of divine wrath and justice being satisfied by the sacrifice of God's Son on a cross.  To be honest, I've never been able to wrap my mind around that either.  I'm convinced that requires a revelation that only the Spirit can communicate.

What I do have a clearer grasp on, though, is that the dealings of God in my own life can indeed feel like divine child abuse,  Why can't we as believers be more honest and upfront about this? The Bible certainly is!  There is a whole book in the Bible (Job) devoted to the theme of bad things happening to a good person, with God's permission.  I won't take the time here to give specific references to Bible passages (well, here's one: Ps,30:7b, "When you hid your face I was dismayed,"), but the Bible is full of examples of God not only withholding blessing but even causing pain.  Most of the time it was for an obvious reason (sin), but not always.  Did Joseph deserve to be sold into slavery and then be thrown into prison for doing the right thing?  But let's cut to the chase.  What does Scripture say about how the Father treated His own Son?  "Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him, [to] put him to grief" (Is. 53:10).  There's obviously deep mystery involved in pain and suffering that no amount of Christianeze can adequately explain.

Please don't give pat answers to those who are enduring pain and suffering because there are none. Instead, quietly come alongside and learn to listen.  Understand that you are not separate from them but intricately connected.  Before we can even begin to open our mouths we have to be sure that we've been able to fully identify with them in their suffering.  That's what Jesus did.

The greatest mystery/suffering in my life at this point revolves around this question:  Why is God taking so long to come close to me when I have spent my lifetime seeking to draw close to Him?  It does feel like child abuse.  That's why Jesus' parable of the unjust judge makes so much sense to me. Because a time is coming, apparently right before Jesus returns, when God will indeed appear to be an unjust judge, or an abusive father.  Only the qualities of hope and patient endurance will carry us through such times, qualities we don't look forward to being trained in.