lurking joy

This morning, while preparing breakfast for Helen's birthday, I experienced a brief, unexpected burst of joy. It wasn't a big burst - more of a gentle upwelling. I suppose an "objective" observer would say I was simply enjoying the fact that I had the day off from work and that I was doing one of my favorite acivities - cooking up a delicious and healthy meal on a special day. But the feeling of joy came and went. It did not hang around for more than a few minutes. Before and after this encounter I was already quite content - happy even. But joy is unique in that (for me, anyway) it is rather rare; it is something more pervasive and deeply pleasureable than mere happiness.

I suspect that I am not alone in this experience of "lurking joy". If only I could coax it out of the shadows and have it as a constant companion! Is there something about me that scares it away? Do I make it feel unwelcome somehow? Or is it the nature of joy to be fleeting and elusive? Was joy a constant companion of him who was called a "man of sorrows and acquainted with grief"? Is it possible to experience more than one emotion at a time?!

One thing I do know. Joy is second only to love as one of the signiature marks of God's presence. The Holy Spirit is notoriously shy in that he's not about drawing attention to himself. But he does want to fill us.

Someone once said, "We are as close to God as we want to be." When I first heard that I wanted to object, "That's not true! I've tried hard to get close to God and so often it feels like my efforts have been in vain!" But to say that we can be as close to God as we want to be is simply a restatement of what James said - "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."

I think the problem is that we give up too easily. I think God deliberately makes it hard to know Him as a way of testing us to see what we really want. Those things that we really want we will continuously go after - we won't let anything stop us or discourage us. But I think there is another important element in understanding joy and the presence of God. And that is the reality that God is Who He Is. He is not a Santa Claus who hands out presents to the good boy and girls. He does what He does for His own inscrutible reasons, which He may or may not share with us.
Which brings us back to the need for humility, for a purity of heart that is uncluttered with distractions. To be filled we must first be emptied.

Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure." (Lk. 10:21)

the elusiveness of simplicity

I suspect that our culture does not place simplicity very high on its list of values. In fact, the word "culture" seems to imply sophistication and complexity. Western culture in particular, with its emphasis on rationality and intellectual skills, tends to militate against anything that is too easily accessed (e.g. by intuition). A good mind is more highly valued than a good heart. As you can see, I'm associating simplicity with the heart. One way to define simplicity is to say that it is living from the heart. Young children do this quite easily and naturally. As we grow older and our minds develop, we shift from relying on the intuitive to relying more on what we can understand and grasp with our minds. Once our minds kick into full gear life starts to get very complicated and that blessed gift of simplicity gets lost in the shuffle. Now, sophistication and complexity are not bad in themselves. The problem is when we forget or abandon the simplicity of the heart in preference for the "higher wisdom" of increasing intellectual sophistication.

Isn't this at least partly what Jesus is warning us of when he tells us that we won't even be able to enter the kingdom of heaven unless we humble ourselves as little children? If that is a requirement for entering, I suspect it is also a requirement for continuing.

The most radical and transformative step that I've ever taken towards child-likeness and simplicity was when I decided to start addressing God as "Daddy". I had heard an older, seasoned saint once suggest to a group of pastors that they begin speaking to God in such terms. His own favorite term for God was "Papa" which he would unabashedly use even when speaking from the pulpit to large crowds.

As I took this advice to heart I found that initially it was an akward adjustment. But slowly I got used to it and eventually it felt so right that I now can't imagine not addressing God that way (at least privately). In fact, "Daddy!" has become my favorite and most frequently used one-word prayer, most often utilized when I haven't a clue what else to pray. All I know is that it expresses a deep, unfulfilled longing that needs expression - a longing that cannot be encompassed by neat mental categories we call "words".

In some ways I feel like I have been regressing in my spiritual life. It isn't always fun to take the lower road, but in the long haul I have found it satisfying and do recommend it (i.e.simplifying). A good first step is to slow down. Observe how young children interact with life. Most of my children have grown up. But Clara is in that state of perpetual child-likeness so she is a constant reminder of what it is like to be intuitive, simple, aware and immediately connected to the present. I long to see her whole, her mind as fully functional as her heart. Maybe that day will come when our (the Body of Christ's) hearts have finally been healed . . . because I have a sneaking suspicion that hearts need to be healed before minds . . . Daaaa-ddyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


...you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God . . .(Ro 8:15)

. . . the simplicity that is in Christ . . . (2 Cor. 11:3 KJV)

. . .it is with the heart that you believe . . . (Ro. 10:10)

(untitled) Note to all readers of this blog:

This is a reminder to any and all who may read these blog entries that my goal is to stimulate and stir up (and hopefully to eventually awaken that which is of God). My purpose is not to try and present anything polished or theologically precise (some may, in fact, border on heresy). Instead, I would simply like to encourage dialogue and interaction along a vein that might, somehow, someway, be useful to the Spirit in breathing fresh life and vitality into us. A blog is not meant to only be the rantings or musings of a lone individual. It is also meant for interaction. So, again, I do welcome whatever you care to contribute. Now I have been informed by some that they have not been able to get their comments published. I don't know why this is (maybe one needs to have a gmail account) but maybe I can get this straightened out. In the meantime feel free to send me any comments by email to barajones@gmail.com.

on being proper . . . or should it be Poppins?

My wife often reminds me of my English heritage, especially if my behavior is tending toward the overly "proper" end of the spectrum. I think it was this "proper" side of me that found it hard to appreciate the musical "Mary Poppins" when it first came out. But I'm glad to report that I must be changing over the years. I just finished watching the movie with Clara and surprised myself by thoroughly enjoying it. What surprised me even more were the not-so-hidden messages throughout the film that I completely missed the first time I saw it years ago.

Now some of us more "proper" folk may be offended by the idea that God can communicate through other means than the Bible - especially not through such an ungodly means as the movies! But, as I've already indicated through a previous entry, I no longer hold to that opinion.
Mary Poppins is another delightful example of God's truth coming through to us by an unexpected means.

Jesus taught us that the Spirit of God is like the wind that blows wherever it wills. How does Mary Poppins arrive? Blown in by an easterly wind, she is, . . . and she leaves when the wind changes. Despite her highly unorthodox ways, what changes does she bring? Love . . .joy . . . peace, to name a few. Of course, the highly proper (uptight) Mr. Banks is not able to receive Mary Poppins' graces and ends up instead with a headache. On the verge of firing Mary, she exercises one more gift of grace and influences him to not only let her stay on, but also to take his children with him to work. Well, things seem to go from bad to worse as these two innocent young children refuse to give up their "tu-pence" to the chief banker. They want the money to go to the old lady feeding the birds and he wants it invested in the bank. Their stubbornness results in a run on the bank and the firing of Mr Banks (who was informed that the only other time there had been a run on their back was after the Boston Tea Party). But right in the midst of all this a miraculous change is happening in Mr. Banks. He finally realizes that it's more important to spend time with his children than to hold down a financially lucrative career, so he joyfully embraces his newfound freedom and celebrates by repairing the broken kite and taking his children out to the park to fly it.

As the children are joyfully heading to the park with their father, Mary Poppins is quietly observing the scene from her balcony, conversing with the parrot-head handle of her umbrella. The parrot makes the most profound comment of the whole film when it tells Mary that the children "think more of their father than they do of you" (because they had run off without saying good-bye to Mary). Isn't that exactly how the Holy Spirit works? He doesn't draw attention to himself, but rather testifies to the Son, who in turn reunites us with our heavenly Father as well as with our earthly fathers (the spirit of Elijah and John the Baptist). There are other interesting "manifestations of the Spirit" in the film that are more controversial in character (such as out-of-control laughter) so I won't dwell on them but can't help mentioning at least that one (very improper . . . but read your Bible and see if the Holy Spirit always induced people to act in only proper ways).

Let's go fly a kite,
Up to the highest height;
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring
Up to the atmosphere,
Up where the air is clear . . .
- final song in "Mary Poppins"


"Do not be astonished that I said to you, 'You must be born from above.' The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit."
- Jesus, speaking to a religious leader

"Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
- Jesus, speaking to his own disciples

the vine of life

Have you ever wondered why we are not given a description of what the Tree of Life looked like in the garden? If we were to guess what it might have looked like (and we didn't already know the description of the Tree of Knowledge), don't you think we'd come up with a description very much like the one given for the Tree of Knowlege of Good and Evil?

. . . the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom." (Gen. 3:6)

But Scripture gives us no clues concerning what the Tree of Life was like; at least not until messianic prophecies began popping up. Look, for example, at this description given by Isaiah:

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with grief.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised and we esteemed him not." (Isaiah 53:2-3)

When Jesus walked the earth he clearly and straightforwardly identified himself as "the way, the truth and the life". When he called himself "the vine", he was essentially identifying himself as the Tree of Life. In Hebrew the word for "tree" is identical to the word for "vine". It simply meant any perennial, woody-stemmed plant. So the Tree of Life in Genesis 3 could very easily have been a vine, or a bush - not the typical tree that our English language connotes. How's that for shattering a neat little paradigm or mental image we've always carried with us! The Tree of Knowledge was obviously an "eye-catcher", beautiful to look at, having all the properties a human could want. The Tree of Life could well have been a humble, unnattractive bush, or a vine, easily concealed by the other trees and bushes it entertwined itself with.

Or, it could have been a mulberry tree. Becky's favorite fruit is the mulberry. But I have yet to see mulberries sold in grocery stores or farmer's markets. The reason is because they're not only difficult to pick, they easily get damaged in the picking and I would imagine don't keep well. Add to that the fact that flying and crawling insects also love mulberries! When Becky and I go out to pick mulberries (that grow wild on the family farm) we have to protect ourselves from mosquitos which tend to swarm around these trees - especially the ones closest to wooded areas.
But the nuisance doesn't stop there. When you get home and wash them, you have to pick out the little twigs and bugs that have inevitably fallen in and mixed with the berries. What a pain! Who would be so nuts to go through such an ordeal just for a handful or two of berries? Those who love mulberries!

Jesus (Yeshua) - the "vine/tree of life" - loved us so much that he allowed all sorts of undesirables gather about him. So much so that it kept away the overly religious folk who didn't want to be contaminated by such a crowd. Who knows what infectious disease one could pick up mingling with such low-lifes! Not unlike the risk of being bitten by a mosquito carrying the Nile virus, or a tick spreading lyme disease, while picking mulberries. But it's all designed as a test, a check to see what we really want in life, isn't it?

Where are our hearts at? Are we being distracted by outward appearance, or even by convenience? What is it that keeps us from recognizing the Tree of Life for what/Who it is? God is always and everywhere present, but we need the eyes to see Him and hearts that can receive Him. Lord, have mercy! Heal our blindness! Soften the hardness of our hearts! Help our desires to line up with yours!


Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12)

Need rejuvenation?

Yesterday I was outside enjoying the early spring season and was trimming overgrown "burning bushes" (you know, those bushes that get all red in the Fall). I had already cut back one of the bushes last year, but decided that it needed even further pruning because some of the canes I had left looked too long and straggly. So I went ahead and cut those straggly ones out. What was left was a smaller bush - probably a quarter to a third of the size it was last year before I started the process - but much more compact and well-shaped. The next two bushes I tackled were a little different story. Because they were close to the house they had been repeatedly trimmed back so that even though they were getting some age on them they were not that big in size. But the way you could tell they were older bushes was the fact that they had some pretty thick canes (stems), some of which had actually died. I had the choice of contining to do what had been done previously - reducing the size of the bush by 10 or 12 inches - or do a more dramatic form of pruning called "rejuvenation pruning". This is a very severe form of pruning, usually done on older bushes, where you cut the entire bush all the way down to within inches of the ground. With the first bush there were enough younger canes that I chose to leave them and just cut out the older, thicker ones. With the next two bushes there were virtually no younger canes (the bushes were more compact and created too dense of shade to encourage new shoots), so when I was done cutting out the old canes it looked like there was nothing left! I say "looked like" because in actuality there were a few little shoots that had been trying to make a go at it but, because lack of sunlight, were not doing too well. Those weak, little shoots reassured me that indeed there would be new growth to replace the old. But even without such reassurance an experienced gardener wouldn't even think twice about doing this kind of severe pruning. As long as one knows the kind of bush you're dealing with - that it can indeed tolerate this kind of pruning - it's virtually impossible to kill it. It'll keep coming back, stronger than ever!



Needless to say, I was seeing some cool spiritual analogies while engaged in this process. To the unlearned or uninitiated, rejuvenation pruning looks way out of line. It doesn't appear to make sense to "butcher" a bush like that - it looks so ugly! But if you have ever driven through orchards or vineyards in the winter or after the trees and vines have been pruned and prepared for the coming season, those trees and vines don't look aesthetically pleasing. They've been severely pruned for one purpose and one purpose alone - to bear fruit. If you want a tree to be "pleasant to the eye", then you plant what would be termed a shade tree, and prune accordingly (to look more like an umbrella). But if you want a fruit tree to bear strong, healthy fruit, you have to open the middle of the tree up to get sunlight, which is what fruit needs to ripen and develop properly. The result is a mishapen, twisted looking tree, but one that can bear large, well-ripened fruit. Ornamental bushes like the burning bush don't bear fruit but they will, if left unattended, get overgrown with thick, woody canes that eventually die and become deadwood. These older canes make it difficult for the younger ones to come up and replace the older ones, so thinning them out from time to time, or doing rejuvenation pruning, gives the bush a new lease on life and prolongs the life of the bush.

I will leave to your own fertile imagination the lessons that can be gleaned from this, God's "second book".


"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener . . . you are the branches . . ."
(John 15:1-8)


"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11)

Getting Real III

". . .the fire of God's love . . ." is how our Native American friend recently described what he and his wife are going through with her many health challenges, as well as economic ones - as are an increasing number of people these days. How do we "get real" in such times? These Scriptures have been coming to mind:

When Moses went up on the mountain, the cloud covered it, and the glory of the LORD settled on Mount Sinai. . . To the Israelites the glory of the LORD looked like a consuming fire . . . (Ex.24:15,17)

In this [coming salvation] you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed . . . Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in the body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God . . . "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him for he cares for you . . . For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God . . . (I Peter)

You have not come to a mountain that can be touched . . . you have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly . . . See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks . . . At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken . . . so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." (Heb. 12:18-29)

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed, "Father, the time has come. Glorify you son, that your son may glorify you . . .". . . Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). Here they crucified him . . . (John 16:13-17:1;19:17-18a)

Getting Real, Part II

Life is full of mystery. And life is difficult. Add those two facts to your short list of things you can count on. I remember years ago, listening to Larry Crabb (well-known Christian psychologist) talk on Christian radio about how devastating the unexpected death of his older brother had been. As he worked his way through that extremely painful experience the main lesson he learned was that the only way to make it through life with one's faith intact was to find someone to trust in. All his Christian, biblical "principles" that he had so carefully worked out as a counselor that were supposed to help others failed to help him when he most needed them. He realized that the only way he was going to make it was to find someone he could completely trust, someone to lean on when he his own knees began to buckle.

This is the other side of the coin of getting real. I believe in a miraculous God and I believe we live in a time when miracles will increase in frequency. But I also believe that those who will see them will most likely be those who have gone through the wilderness, the crucible of testing and preparation. As that picture that is given to us in the Song of Solomon (8:5) indicates, it is when we come out of the wilderness leaning on our beloved that we will be close enough to his heart to do what is on his heart. Jesus showed us how this life in the flesh is to be lived - "I only do what I see my Father doing."

But getting back to the wilderness. Ah yes, how we hate the wilderness - that dry, perversly barren place! Other than death itself, I can't think of anything worse than having one's own nakedness and weaknesses exposed and highlighted. Physical pain is certainly excruciating, but a well-adjusted adult can find ways to manage it or dull it. But inward, soul-wrenching pain is what truly brings us to the end of our rope, to that place where, like Job, we cry out for God to either take our life or reveal himself to us and renew us. In the New Testament, this process of being brought "to the end of our rope" - and living there - is called "taking up the cross". Jesus made it clear that if we wanted to be counted as his disciple we would need to get used to this place on the end of the rope. Hanging used to be the primary form of capital punishment in our country. In the Roman world, it was an execution stake upon which the hapless criminal was impaled. We have sanitized it as a religious symbol, but in reality it was even more gruesome than the hangman's noose (try wearing that around your neck and see how spiritual you'll feel).

I've heard it said that the two most powerful beings in the universe are out to kill us. Resistance really is futile! Give it up. The best way to deal with God's attempts at killing us is to let him! The more you resist him the more drawn out (and painful) the process will be.

We all want to experience resurrection power; but to gain that we must

. . . lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
(Hebrews 12:1-2)

Are you ready to die? It ain't fun, but it's the quickest way to where we need to go.

Getting Real!

"Truth is stranger than fiction. That's because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities, and truth isn't." This statement was made by Mark Twain, an unbeliever, who was simply making an observation on the nature of reality. I don't know what kind of an impact this statement has on unbelievers - but to me, this is mind-blowing! This should shatter our Christian complacency and awaken us to "get real", to get in touch with truth (those of us who claim to have a relationship with him who said he was "the truth"). For too long we have been lulled into active unbelief, having developed a theology, or rationale, that serves to only protect us from admitting that we have failed, that we're not as spiritually astute as we pretend to be. One way I think this happens is by putting things in either the past tense or the future tense rather than fully engaging it as a present truth or reality. Take, for example, the following Scripture:

No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him. (I Cor. 2:9)

Are we supposed to wait until Jesus comes back to see that verse fulfilled? Or is it possible that God intends for us to at least begin to experience that reality in the present?

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph. 2:10)

"...greater works than [the works that I do] shall [he that believes on me] do ..."
(Jesus, John 14:12)

I don't know about you, but I am ready for the adventure of a lifetime! I am hungry for the truth, for reality! I'm tired of words, words that promise much but leave me empty. It's time to do less talking and more putting ourselves out there on the line, taking God at his word and obeying him. To me this is more than an attempt to radically apply "Biblical principles." It has to be personal. We have to be able to hear the voice of the Spirit in the depths of our being, speaking those words of life to us - words that, when obeyed, will transform and lead to those "greater works" that Jesus promised to those who would believe him.

Do you believe? Do I believe? Do we really?

It's time for us to get real.



"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified;
do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever
you go." (Jos. 1:9)

hooked

God speaks through stories. I recently got caught up again in watching Steven Spielberg's film "Hook"and was impacted by what I see as its remarkable prophetic implications. Robin Williams plays a grown up Peter Pan, who, in the process of becoming a highly succesful atorney ("Peter, you have become a pirate!" exclaims a saddened Wendy) has forgotten who he really is. Throughout the course of the film Peter gets back in touch with his true identity, learns to fly again, and returns to the "real world" to take on the adventure of life from a radically new perspective.

This story can be viewed as simply another nice fairy tale for children (and adults). Or it could be viewed as an inkling, a suggestion of what truly is. How is it that humans have this capacity to imagine things so way out there, so beyond the reach of what we think could ever be possible, that we automatically label them as "fantasy", as fiction. Yet, as a wise man once observed, it is truth that is actually stranger than fiction, because fiction is obligated to stay within the realm of what we can imagine, while truth isn't. No wonder reality always has a way of blindsiding us, of catching us totally off guard!

The story "Hook", is for me, a picture of God's people. Like grown up Peter, I suspect that we too have forgotten who we really are. Tinkerbelle represents the Holy Spirit, tugging at us to bring us back to what has been lost. I like the way Gary Wills puts it in his book, WHAT JESUS MEANT, when he compares Jesus to other greater-than-life figures from antiquity.
"[Jesus] is the fulfillment of the myths . . . they are a reaching out toward him. They are a hunger and he the food. They are an ache, he the easement."

The Enlightenment was (in part) a time of breaking out of a calcified and superstitious religious culture that needed to be challenged by science and rational inquiry. But in our "growing up", have we lost the child-like ability to dream and believe in the impossible? Jesus broke through the strictures of the religious system of his day and challenged his disciples to such preposterous things as being born again, or becoming like little children in order to qualify for entry into the kingdom of heaven. He even promised that if they had faith as a grain of mustard, they could command mountains to move. "Truly I tell you," Jesus said in his farewell address to the disciples, "the one who believes me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works (Jn. 14:12)."

Have we forgotten who we are? Are we too grown up to believe that such words of Jesus might really impinge on our lives today? Or will we be content to read the Biblical stories to our children and leave them there, as simply stories from the past? They might as well just be fairy tales.

Somehow, somewhere, I got infected with the faith bug that from time to time challenges me in the deepest part of who I am with those words that I am convinced are more than fairy tale: "All things are possible to them that believe . . . What is impossible for man is possible for God."

I am hooked. Are you?

overcoming whitewash

As Becky and I were recently continuing our reflections on developments/paradigm shifts in our life together, recounting again that experience I described in the last ("joy") blog, a picture came to her mind of an animal-like creature that looked like a cross between a cat and a bull-dog, and this thing was snarling in her face! Immediately I knew that this was a visual representation of the religious spirit, or at least one of its henchmen. As I understand the religious spirit, it is more than just a demonic spirit - it is one of the the most powerful anti-God forces out there, known as a principality (Eph. 6:12 KJV). The reason I figured it had to be a manifestation of a religious spirit was because the topic Becky and I had been arguing over was religious/spiritual in nature and I had been so convinced I was right (a classic sign of the religious spirit - "I'm right, you're wrong"). I have become convinced that the biggest struggle in my life is against this spirit/principality, and that it had once again reared its ugly head in this argument I had had with Becky. The bulldog speaks of a tenacity, a refusal to let go once it locks its jaws on its prey, and the cat speaks of its sleuth-like ability to come and go undetected.

Years ago, when we first became part of a home fellowship in Charlotte, NC, the leaders (husband and wife) invited any one who wanted prayer and counseling to meet with them privately. Becky and I took them up on the offer and we went to their place for prayer and counsel. After the prayer time was over, the husband told me that while they were praying for me he saw a serpent, as it were, coiled around my mid-section with its head coming right out of my chest! I don't recall a very clear explanation of what that was supposed to represent, but as I've reflected on that image over the years I've become convinced that that represented my own personal entanglement with the religious spirit (ugh!). And I've learned that you don't just cast out religious spirits. Principalities have to be wrestled with (Eph. 6:12) on a continual, ongoing basis; and this is certainly what I have come to experience over the years since then.

But my sweet, "pumpkin-patch" (her words, not mine) wife, has been God's sharpest tool in helping to cut me free from this dastardly, entwining serpent. God gave her one other picture of what it means to overcome the religious spirit. When we bought an old farmhouse about 20 years ago, and I tackled the job of painting it, Becky wanted me to use a variety of colors to highlight the unique architectural features of the house which had virtually gotten lost by the whitewashing (mono-coloring, all white) of the previous owner. Over the years, as I have painted other people's houses, it has been fun to point out to the owners how the appearance of their home could be enhanced by bringing out these unique architectural features through a variety of complimentary colors. It can make all the difference between a ho-hum house and a "wow, c-o-o-o-o-l !!!" house. Can you imagine what the original builder/architect would think or feel in regards to seeing his/her artistic designs uncaringly painted over and made to look like some cheap shack or storage shed?
God has feelings - deep feelings - about what He creates. Should we not honor the creativity and artistry of Him who makes no two snowflakes alike, who delights in the most intricate and mind-boggling diversity, as evident in His creation? How is it that we have so easily succumbed and remained content within the white-washed confines of a religion that all too easily feels threatened and unsettled by non-conformists that are trying to break free of the coils of that wily serpent that has been trying to sqeeze the Creator's life out of us?! Have mercy on us God! Set us free! Help us to overcome the whitewash and allow the unique colors that you have given each and every one of us to come forth and allow your glory to blaze forth again in your creation!

joy

As I have sought to hone the skill (or should I say, grace) of listening to God I have been repeatedly arm twisted by God (i.e. humbled) to admit that, yes, He does speak through my wife too. Maybe what has made this realization a bit harder for me is the fact that I married someone who was raised in a more liberal church tradition - one that the tradition I was raised in would consider not as "in tune" with God (how arrogant is that!). But one of the chief attractions to me in regards to Becky was the integrity, the love for the truth, that I saw in her. She has a purity of heart that often allows her to hear God quicker than I will, especially in certain areas.

One such area where I have discovered she is much more in tune than I am, is in the area of personal dreams/heart's desires. It has always been difficult for me to identify what I REALLY want in life, what the deepest desires of my heart are. Maybe it's because of a certain pietism or spirituality that I took on early in life that felt that submitting to God's will meant squelching one's own personal desires. What mattered most, I came to believe, was knowing and doing God's will. My own desires were therefore invalid and thus ignored (and lost).

Well, I married someone who was very good at letting me know what HER desires and longings were! And it would irritate me at times because I thought of it as being unspiritual, as not submitting to God's will and desires - especially when her desires cost more money than I had!
Well, this struggle between us came to the fore this past summer right after we had looked at a property for sale in a geographical location that we felt pretty sure God was leading us to. To me, this property looked like it had "God's will" written all over it. There were just too many things about it that couldn't simply be coincidence, that had to be God. Except for one thing. Becky's desires. That property wasn't big enough - neither the land nor the house - to accomodate the dream that was in her heart. Needless to say, as we were driving away talking about all this, I felt righteous indignation rising up in me and an argument ensued.

Long story short, we got past that crisis OK, continued to seek God's leading about the property, and because nothing else was showing up on our "radar", felt like we just needed to submit to all these "obvious signs" of God's will.

January 25 was my birthday and something amazing happened that day. Becky and I listened to a sermon during which the story of Perez's birth was retold (end of Genesis 28). Perez means "breaking out". Perez literally pushed his twin brother aside, in the womb, in order to be born first. He was carrying on his grandfather Jacob's proclivity to do everything in his power to achieve his desired goal. God liked that trait in Jacob (not the unrighteous, selfish part, but the determined, not-to-be-put-off part), and he liked it so much in Perez that he looked past the fact that he was born of incest and included him in the line of Messiah! As Becky and I reflected on Perez's story we got to talking about "the property" again. Becky could not shake her disappointment in that property, and it finally dawned on me that she was being like Jacob and Perez. She knew what she wanted and didn't want to let go of it! And that stubborness (I finally realized) was a good thing, a God thing! When I was finally able to get past this false, religious spirit in me that kept putting down Becky's desires as being unspiritual, or unsubmissive, and affirm them as valid, God-given desires - desires worth fighting for - we both experienced a joy that I must say we'd never experienced before (well, I guess we felt that way when we got married - but where did it go?!). It was a feeling of lightness that comes when a cloud or weight has been lifted, when one knows that they are really doing the right thing (to acknowledge the deepest desire of our heart and go for it, regardless of seemingly impossible obstacles).
In the words of that pioneer of the modern-day missions movement, William Carey,

"Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God."

And joy will follow.

K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid)

I just love the simple eloquence of God. . . and that he can speak through something as nasty as a head cold as easily as through the majestic symbolism of an eagle!

As I have been recovering from this head cold of mine I've reflected on the two basic options in overcoming such a thing. One is the pharmaceutical route, where you take one or more drugs to alleviate the symptoms until the body somehow does the real work of throwing off whatever you're fighting. The other route, which in my mind is the much preferred route, is to work with your body's natural functions and give it all the help you can. This more "natural" approach may not appear as neat and tidy as the pharmaceutical way, but in the end it actually is neater and tidier. The drug route tends to work against your body's natural functions (hence all the "side effects"), and if the science of psychology tells me anything, I would think that suppressing a symptom rather than getting to the root cause of it is not a good thing. The natural way involves a little more work in that one has to become informed on how bodily functions work and how one can help them work well. But once that basic knowledge is achieved, getting and staying healthy actually becomes a lot more simpler. A lifestyle can be developed whereby health, more often than not, will be the rule and very little time, money and effort is wasted on drugs and doctor bills.

Righteousness - living by the tree of life - is the simplest way to live. You simply do what is right. It's not easy, but it is simple. Jesus is that tree of life. We must live as he lived. "I do only what I see my Father doing" is the way he summed it up. Implicit in that simple statement are two things: knowing what God has authoritatively done and said (Scripture), and becoming increasingly aware of His ongoing still, small voice. This is the most "natural" way to live, as represented by the tree of life. The way of living based on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil tries to micromanage everything - pushing the right button here, following the right principle there; taking the right pill here, following the latest fad there. It might work fine for a while ("there is a way that seems right to a man..."), but sooner or later the "side effects" begin to kick in ("but the end thereof is the way of death'').

I don't enjoy having to endure the symptoms of my cold. But I have learned to become aware of and appreciate the process by which my body is cleansing itself of an infection. In the end I can actually know and feel that I am healthier. The nasty cold bacteria can become a tool of God to alert me to areas where I had let up in my healthy lifestyle; and when that is corrected, true health (not a drug cover-up) becomes the result. When we do things God's way, in accordance with nature as He created it, life really does become simplified. Not easier, but definitely more simple.

A final note: I know there are some whose lives would be incredibly more painful if not altogether threatened if it weren't for drugs. What I have said is not intended to depreciate the value of such drugs. They have their place until a truer way to healing is revealed.


"I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from the simplicity that is in Christ." (2 Corinthians 11:3)

the resting eagle

As I was driving to work yesterday my eye was drawn to an unusual sight - a bald eagle resting high up on the top of a large tree. This is only the second time Becky or I have spotted an eagle this far from the Mississippi, where their numbers have been increasing of late. As I reflected on that simple, yet somehow profound picture, the thought that came to me was, "This is your time to rest."

Discerning one's times and seasons is so critical to a spiritual life, a life in tune with the Spirit. There's a part of me that feels stunted, like I'm making so little progress. I interpret my circumstances as "non-eventful" and having little meaning or significance. Is the winter, or the "dry season", less significant or important than the vibrant growing season when all is lusciously green and bursting with new life? Is night less important than day, rest less important than activity?

My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty,
I do not concern myself with great matters,
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.
(Psalm 131)

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says,
"In returning and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength . . .
The LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!"
(Isaiah 30:15,18)