knife's edge

At the close of a permaculture class I went to a few years ago we had a gift exchange where we explained to the person who got your gift why we had chosen that gift to give away. I had given away a knife and my explanation was that the path of life was very narrow - like a knife's edge - and the only way we can stay on the path is to have a love for the truth that will keep our eyes always on what is true. I had gotten this thought from Rick Joyner's book, THE CALL, where he relates a prophetic encounter with Jesus where Jesus tells him that the path of life is a narrow one that has deep ditches on both sides of it. He told Rick that he had spent too much time in one or the other of the ditches and it was now time to learn how to stay out of the ditches and on the path. The only way to stay on the path, Jesus told him, was by keeping his eyes on Him.

The other day I heard a piece on National Public Radio describing the life and work of a photo journalist who had recently been killed, I believe in the Libyan uprising. In an interview done before his death this journalist was asked how he could do his work in such dangerous settings (he had a reputation for doing his work in some of the most dangerous "hotspots" around the world). His answer was that as long as he kept his eyes looking through the lens of his camara, i.e. on doing his job, he wasn't overcome or paralyzed by fear. This, to me, was another way of saying what Jesus said to Rick. Like Peter walking on the water in the middle of a storm on the lake, as soon as we take our eyes off Jesus and begin to look at the wind and the waves, we're sunk!

I have just begun a new job that I am convinced is a gift from God. The odd thing about it is that it involves operating farm machinery, which I do not have a good track record with. Years ago I had worked on my brother-in-law's farm and had had a couple accidents which convinced me I was not cut out to work with heavy machinery. But now, here I am, in a job I'm convinced I'm supposed to have, doing the very thing I thought I was supposed to avoid!

The second day on the job a semi-truck was needing to be loaded with a product that was going to be applied on a field down the road. My supervisor had to be away at the time and it was up to me and another fellow to do the loading. Well, even though it's not that complicated to operate a front-end loader, because I was still becoming familiar with the machine I was not exactly smooth in my operation. It was not long before I banged the side of the dump part of the truck and got yelled at by the truck driver. Fortunately God gave me the wisdom to just park the loader then and there and let the other fellow do the rest of the loading. As it turned out, the truck driver knew how to operate the loader so he ended up helping to load his own truck, which he seemed happy to do!

At the time all this was happening I was getting confused as to why this wonderful job that God had provided was putting me in situations that I didn't think I should be in. I was learning an important lesson that I needed to learn: to admit - and to stop! - when I was not comfortable operating a machine (as a guy, it's tempting to do the macho thing and think, "oh, I can do this!"). But as I've continued to reflect on the situation I'm seeing something even more important.

It is my growing conviction that we are entering a time of ever-increasing peril and danger, on every level. The Scriptures warn us very clearly about this time. In Hebrews we are told that everything that can be shaken will be shaken, so that only what has its foundation in God will be left standing. Jesus put it about as bluntly as he could when he told his disciples that without him they could do nothing. I am now beginning every day with a prayer that says, in essence, "Daddy, help me! Give me the wisdom to work safely and not do anything stupid!" I find great peace in knowing that he hears and honors such prayers, for he has promised to give grace to the humble, but to oppose the proud.

Maybe it's an overstatement to say that the path of life is as narrow as a knife's edge. But maybe not. Jesus did seem to set ridiculously high standards ("Be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect", or, "Take up your cross daily and follow me"). But maybe the whole intent of his perfect standard is to get us to fall on that knife's edge, have it slice through our soul and spirit, in order to expose every thought and intent of the heart. Somewhere in the Psalms I know that there is a promise for those who hang in there with God, that He will bring them out into a "broad place". Now that would be a nice place.

on being repellent

Anyone who works with potting soil long enough will sooner or later discover an amazing phenomena. I had learned of this early in my gardening experience but had not quite grasped it sufficiently because I recently made the classic mistake a beginning gardener would make who is ignorant of this problem. What I am referring to is the problem of soil that is so dry that it actually repels water instead of absorbing it. How crazy is that! Just a few days ago I bought a bag of really nice, "seed starter" potting soil. I like to get an early jump on growing vegetables, so I start seedlings in the middle of the winter in the basement, under grow lights. So here I was, with this potting soil that was half frozen from sitting outside at the local garden center, and I was pouring it into the "flat" where I'd be growing the seedlings. As I was breaking up the frozen lumps and smoothing out the surface of the flat the thought briefly flashed through my mind, "I wonder if this soil needs to be "wetted" first. In other words, I was aware that dry soil should really be thoroughly mixed together with some water before being put in the flat; otherwise, when you sprinkle water on it, the water will literally run off the surface and not properly penetrate below the surface. I think because this soil was so cold it felt like it had moisture in it (moist things feel cooler, right?), so I didn't bother to go through the wetting process (which involves putting the soil in a bucket, adding water, and manually combining the two together until you can feel that the soil has had the moisture evenly dispersed and absorbed into it).

Well, the short of it is, it took me 3 days to finally get water to properly penetrate into that seedbed! It was a mess - I've never had such a problem before (well, I have, but I felt like a complete novice who had to learn his lesson all over again)! In the process of trying to get water to penetrate from the surface down I totally messed up the (very small and hard to see) seeds which were planted close to the surface, undoubtedly sloshing some of them over the side with the water that was only pooling on the surface and refusing to soak into the soil.

Why this attempt to describe one gardener's struggle with potting soil? Because I see in it such an amazing picture of what must happen within the human soul - within my own heart - when there has been such a lack of moisture. When the moisture comes that we really need, we end up pushing it away. The very thing we need we are unable to absorb. Can you think of a worse tragedy then this? Yet I believe this is precisely the condition that I find myself in (and I suspect I'm not alone in this) . I was given a prophetic word years ago which said that my heart was like the gates of Jericho just before the Israelites conquered it - shut up tight. Ouch! Fortunately that word went on to give me hope that this condition would change, but I've pondered on the meaning of it for a long time. Frankly, it's been a mystery to me that I've struggled to understand. But this simple illustration from my gardening experience offers a clue to understanding and beginning to unravel this mystery.

Another clue to solving this riddle comes in the form of a sonnet by John Donne.

HOLY SONNETS.

XIV.

Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

---

Source:
Donne, John. Poems of John Donne. vol I.
E. K. Chambers, ed.
London: Lawrence & Bullen, 1896. 165.

B.C. II (Bees Cops cont'd)

It is scary to think that one's heart can become hard so easily, without you hardly being aware of it, yet that is absolutely the truth. It's so easy to see it in others but so hard to see it in oneself . What's even scarier is recognizing that it can feel good to be in that hardened state, and because it feels good we assume it must be right. Let me illustrate.

My wife and I had had another one of those arguments where each is so convinced that their perspective is right and that the other just needs to get over their stubborness and admit they're wrong. It started over disagreeing on how much we should charge for our "free range, organic eggs" and then it spread to my commenting that she married the wrong person if that's how she wanted to live. By the time the salesman's call came on the phone she was in no mood to answer my question on whether we should buy more septic tank product (we definitely needed more product to clean our tanks, but not of the physical kind . . .). Fast forward to 24 hours later. A whole day went by and I knew things weren't good between us. But I was getting tired of having to admit, again, that I was wrong in any way. It's her turn to do some admitting. I'm just going to let her stew in her juices. If that's what she wants, she can have it. I'm still right anyway, I don't really have anything to confess. Most importantly I was feeling pretty good about it all. I didn't have any sense of guilt or wrong-doing. So the phone rings after we've gone to bed (we're lying there, giving each other the silent treatment) and I get up and answer it. It turned out to be an individual I needed to do some "hard talking to" - telling them something I knew they needed to hear but which wouldn't be easy for me to tell it or for them to hear it. Well, after that conversation was over, I crawl into bed next to my still silent partner and I'm thinking, "You hypocrite!" I had been feeling so smug about being right that I had lost my awareness to how hard-hearted I was becoming. Swallowing my pride, I initiated what fortunately became a healing conversation, and my relationship with my wife was fully restored.

Here are the pertinent observations/lessons learned from what had transpired:

HOW EASILY MY HEART CAN BECOME HARDENED WITH MY HARDLY EVEN BEING AWARE OF IT!

HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO NIP THAT HARDNESS IN THE BUD AS SOON AS IT IS RECOGNIZED!

Grace WILL come to help us overcome (that phone call after we went to bed) if we will recognize it and respond to it appropriately.

There is a scripture that speaks of "break(ing) up the fallow ground", which means to loosen up the soil of our hearts so that we can receive the seed of God's voice/word. Hard ground is a proud heart that doesn't need help and has lost the ability to hear His voice. Cultivated soil is the humility that says, "Help! I feel broken, plowed to pieces - please sow within me the word of life and water me so that Your seed can sprout, grow and bear good fruit!"

Bees, cops, price of eggs, a phone call in the night. Isn't it wonderful all the different ways that God will speak to us?! May He help us to break up the fallow ground of our hearts so that those words will not be lost to the birds or to weeds, but will instead find good soil to grow and fully mature in.

of bees and cops

My day started off badly because of overcast conditions. I had hoped to get up with the sun and check on my bees before they were too awake to care, but because of the clouds I got up later than I wanted to and had to rush the process of checking my two hives. The process went OK with no real mishaps other than the bees getting a bit more irritated than usual because of my not moving as slowly and carefully as I should have (bees don't like to be handled roughly or quickly). I only got stung by one bee that had crawled up my pant leg. The reason I was rushing things was because I didn't want to be late to work. But even with my rushing with the bees I was still running 5 minutes late. Even though I work for a very understanding boss who would've had no problem with my being late that day, I still don't like being late to work. Consequently, I ignored that little voice that was trying to tell me that it really was foolish to have handled the bees the way I did, and that to drive 10 - 15 mph over the speed limit was also not a good thing. But hey, I'm a risk-taker by nature, just being who I am . . . I can still make it to work on time if I go just a little bit faster. Cops never patrol these country roads.

I saw the parked cop car about the same time his radar gun saw me. Two minutes later I was parked on the shoulder of the road. What had been a still, small voice was now a glaring, flashing red light. Got the message now, Mr. Jones?

As I reflected on these happenings at the start of my day the message came through to me clear as a bell, and I want to pass it on to you, my reader, because I believe it is an important message we all need to be reminded of from time to time. The message is this: DO NOT IGNORE THAT LITTLE VOICE THAT YOU KNOW IS RIGHT BUT YOU WISH IT WASN'T. The danger of ignoring what we know to be right is that our ability to hear that voice becomes weakened, even to the point that we will no longer hear it if we ignore it too often. It's called a hardened conscience. We need to keep our hearts soft and easily receptive to Heaven's voice. If it irritates, challenges, pushes us out of our comfort zone, it's a pretty good indicator that we'd better pay attention. Would you ignore that little warning light on your dash that's telling you you're almost out of gas?

Fortunately, grace is available to all of us who from time to time ignore that still, small voice. Just like the cop who only gave me a warning instead of a ticket, Heaven will give us warnings before

the harsher judgments come. But I am resolved to continue to work on slowing down in life. As the saying goes, "speed kills", and I want to be about life, not death.

the language of heaven

Would you like to be able to speak and understand the same language that God speaks? Those of you who are linguists or who love words and learning foreign languages might think I'm referring to Hebrew, or Greek, as God's preferred language. But the language that God has always preferred to use when communicating with humankind goes way beyond just one ethnic group. Consider these Scriptures and see if you agree that the language of heaven (intended for human ears) is the physical, created order: stars, galaxies, plants, animals, sand, clay, water, wind, fire, lightning, clouds, etc., etc.

By the word of the LORD were the heavens made . . . he spoke and it came to be. (Ps.33:6,9)

The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth their speech;

night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language

where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world. (Ps. 19:1-4)

Since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. (Rom. 1:20)

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. (Jn 1:14)

Jesus began to teach by the lake . . . He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said, "Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed . . ."

Then Jesus said to them, "Don't you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable?" . . .

With many similar parables Jesus spoke the word to them, as much as they could understand. He did not say anything to them without using a parable. (Mark 4)

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit. . . I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?" (Jn. 3:8,12)

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. (I Jn. 1:1)

Did you notice how "earthy", how sensual (pertaining to the senses) God's communication to us is? None of this highly metaphysical, philosophically astute, academically refined stuff in God's manner of speaking. Oh, He can talk that way if He wants (Paul's letters tend somewhat in that direction), but that's not His preferred or most common way of speaking. He not only enjoys using very down-to- earth ways of speaking, he also enjoys speaking through the most ordinary and common of people, as this last Scripture makes quite clear to us:

In the last days, God says,

I will pour out my Spirit on all people.

Your sons and daughters will prophesy,

your young men will see visions,

your old men will dream dreams. . .

I will show wonders in the heavens above

and signs on the earth below,

blood and fire and billows of smoke.

The sun will be turned to darkness

and the moon to blood . . . (Acts 2:17-20)

When God wants to make sure His message gets through to us you can be sure He will use the most effective language possible, and it will involve all of our senses!

So, today, as we reflect again on the most amazing communication of all - the Word becoming flesh - may we resolve to continue expanding our awareness of the innumerable other ways in which our Father is speaking to us through his creation.

a robust hope

"And now abideth faith, hope and love . . ."

Have you ever wondered why hope gets short-changed in comparison to all the attention faith and love get? I think part of the problem is that the English definition of "hope" falls far short of the true, Biblical definition. In Scripture, hope is just as real and solid a reality as the past and present. It has nothing to do with the wishful thinking that it has come to mean in the English language. It originates from the same eternal Word that brought everything we know into existence.

But there is another reason why I think hope has remained such an obscure concept. Even when we talk about our hope as Christians, wanting to base it on the Bible, the focus inevitably seems stuck on trying to imagine what "heaven" will be like. After all, isn't that what we look forward to after we die? Because heaven is such an ethereal, non-physical place (where God dwells), it's no surprise that we have a hard time relating to it or even really looking forward to spending eternity there. I believe that it's time to re-examine this wimpy view of "the Christian hope" to see if it is true to Scripture, because I believe it falls desperately short.

First of all, and most important to my world view, is that hope is something very tangible and physical. It is also very relevant to the here-and-now. Whether we know it or not everyone lives according to the hope that they have. The clearer and more focused that hope is the more purposeful and "on-track" one can be. Let's look at just a few Scriptures that will help to bring into sharper focus just what the "Christian hope" is, and let these truths shape the way we live in the present.

"Be fruitful . . . fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over . . . every living creature" (Gen. 1:28)

I saw thrones on which were seated those who had been given authority to judge . . .they came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years. (Rev. 20: 4)

"The time has come for judging . . . for rewarding . . . for destroying those who destroy the earth." (Rev. 11:18)

I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride, beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them." (Rev. 21:2,3)

. . . we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. (2 Pet. 3:13)

What comes across clear as a bell to me in these Scriptures is that our hope is a very physical hope that is tied to God's creation. God created us to be fully engaged in this earth as caretakers and co-rulers with Him. And that responsibility only increases, not diminishes, when Jesus returns. Even after the millenium is over the Biblical picture is not of us heading up to heaven, but of God coming down from heaven to live with us! How's that for a paradigm shift! God loves the world (i.e people and all of creation) so much that he actually wants to come and live with us! Of course, He's going to have to do some remodeling before He moves in with us, but you get the picture. That's what I call a robust hope. That is something that should impact the way we live in the here and now. Don't we want to live our lives, both physically and spiritually, in such a way that it fits in with the "big picture" of what He is up to? I sure do!

We are in the Advent season, proclaiming not only the first coming of Christ (Messiah, "annointed one", King), but also the hope, the looking forward to his return again to reign. Are we living lives that are truly welcoming of Him and His agenda in this world He created us to exercise wise dominion over?

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!

Let earth receive her king:

Let every heart prepare him room,

And heaven and nature sing.

Joy to the earth, the Saviour reigns!

Let men their songs employ;

While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains,

Repeat the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,

Nor thorns infest the ground;

He comes to make his blessing flow

Far as the curse is found.

wild things

"There are some who can live without wild things, and some who cannot."
- Aldo Leopold, naturalist


Last Sunday afternoon I got the urge to take a walk on our land. With Champ at my side (though not for long as he loves to run hither and yon, exploring) I headed down to a part of our land that we have chosen to let sit and return to its natural, or "wild" state. It is impossible to farm this piece of land during wet years on account of the fact that it used to be marshland. As I approached the northeast corner of this marshy area I noticed Champ barking almost hysterically into a clump of of brush and I knew that he had cornered some kind of animal. It was over the fence and into the neighbor's property so I couldn't see the animal. Usually it's a coon or a possum so I just called to Champ as I headed in an opposite direction down our property line. But shortly after calling out to him the barking turned into an all-out snarling and scuffle as this animal must have decided to make a break for it. By the time I turned to try and see who Champ had gotten into a fight with this time, the animal had run from Champ, crossed the drainage ditch and was proceeding up a tree on the opposite bank. That's when I finally saw that Champ had picked a fight with some kind of a wild cat. It had the exact same shape as a house cat, except it was two, maybe three times the size of a domesticated cat - roughly the size and weight of Champ himself. It had a solid, tawny color and I'm sure it must have had a long tail, not a bobbed one that a bobcat would have or that would have caught my attention. Later, as I was looking online for descriptions of wild cats, I came to the conclusion that this must have been a small cougar, most likely a female, or a juvenile. We have had more than one report of cougar sightings in our county within the past year, including paw prints along our own road about a mile away. When I told my partner at work he said there had been a report of a cougar sighting within the past week near his area. Information that I could glean from the internet said that cougar sightings have been on the increase in this part of the midwest, though there is no confirmation that these animals are actually settling into the area and having litters. It is still an open debate about whether the cougar is actually making a comeback to an area that has not been its habitat for over a hundred years. If that is in fact what is happening then I may be among one of the first to be an eyewitness to this phenomenon!
To some this is a scary, alarming development, especially if you raise smaller livestock such as sheep or goats. Cougars have been known to even attack horses and cows. Even though cougars rarely attack humans, it has happened, though it is usually in cases where human populations have impinged on cougar habitat to such an extent that the wild cats have gotten so familiar with humans that they have overcome their natural shyness.

Understandably, my wife is now fearful of taking walks by herself in the woods or the marshland. I guess because I am a male fear was not my response, but rather excitement - a strange, new kind of pleasure. I am not a hunter, and although I can understand why some hunt game for the purpose of eating it, I cannot appreciate hunting simply for pleasure. Hunting wild animals that are becoming too numerous and a genuine threat to our safety and livelihood is also understandable. But I think I am willing to allow cougars to make Illinois their home again if they so choose. A part of me thrills at the idea of living so close to such a large predator as a cougar. But such a reality would entail a greater soberness and carefulness that we are not familiar with. Carefree walks on the wilder parts of our land would become only a memory. The walks would definitely continue, but with increased vigilance and awareness. That may not be all bad.

I've been considering getting into the livestock business at some point, on a small scale. Knowing there could be an increasing danger of predators will figure into my decision whether or not to go ahead with those plans. All of a sudden life has become a bit more complex. Again, that may not be all bad. Complexity, biodiversity, is one of the goals of permaculture. Creator enjoyed making this world of ours full of incredible diversity, yet modern "development" continues to kill off His creations in favor of our own. Ironically, while we have assumed that our own creations have made life safer and more comfortable for us, in retrospect we are discovering that these creations of ours are, in fact, in danger of bringing about our own extinction.

This is not a simple or easy topic. But I'm more willing to take risks with Creator's "wild things" than with man's. There is a mystery and a wisdom there still waiting to be explored if one is willing to face the challenge and the risks. As Tumnus the faun said to Lucy at the end of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (in an attempt to explain Aslan) - "He is not a tame lion." Which Aslan would you rather get to know? The original, true Aslan, or a safer, tamer version?

The Spirit sent [Jesus] out into the wilderness, and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals . . ."
Mark 1:12,13